I CONTROLLED MYSELF

1) I stopped a woman being raped last night
    Really? How did you do that?
    I controlled myself.

2) She threw the pepper pot in my face, my lord.
    And what did you do?
    I sneezed, of course, you blithering old fool!


3)  Why did you bite your mother-in-law?
      The wife was always throwing her in my teeth


4)  Have you seen a policeman about?
      No! .....
     Good, Give us your handbag!

5) Lady barrister "And what is your age?"
     Lady witness "About the same as yours ...?"

6)  "Please give me some money." pleaded the begger "All i have in the world is this gun."

7) You wont find a tax at this time of night
     Thank god for that now I can cross the road

8) Can a man marry his own sister?
    Of course not!
     Yes he can if he's a person!

9) "I follow the medical profession." said the witness
      "Are you a doctor?"
      "No! an undertaker."

10)Can you describe the man who hit you? Asked the policeman.
      That's what i was doing when he hit me.


Thanks ALIFYA HASSANALI
FOREST HILL SEC. SCHOOL